Wide World of Pranks

Wal-Mart Intercom Pranks

Wal-Mart stores can be so big and the workers seem so bored and the customers seem so harried and annoying. It seems like the perfect fertile ground to have a little fun at Walt's expense. Sometimes I just want to jump on the intercom and say something. But how does one get access?

]]> Planet Wally found the answer. You can use the intercom from any one of the many telephones Wal-Mart provides around the sales floor. Even better, we know the code! Here is how you use the intercom at Wal-Mart:

� Pick up the phone
� Dial #96

You're now on the store intercom!

The proper way to use the store intercom, I mean, apart from the fact it is only supposed to be used by Wal-Mart employees, is to declare the code and the location. For instance, "Code White in Automotive". Here are a few helpful things you can do with the Intercom.

Intercom Codes:

INTERCOM HOLD: Sometimes silence is golden. So if you pick up the phone, dial #96 and then hit hold, nobody can use the intercom until they figure out which phone is on hold.

CODE 1: This code is used for SHOPLIFTING!

CODE 10: Dry Spill.

CODE 20: Wet Spill.

CODE 90: Management Needed. That sounds useless.

CODE 99: This code implies that there is an emergency and all male employees are to immediately stop what they are doing and move to the announced location.

CODE 300: Security Needed. For grins, call Code 300 to the location you are currently at.

CODE ADAM: Code Adam is used to report a lost child. Technically, the store is supposed to shut all doors until the lost child is found. This sounds like fun until you realize that you are going to be trapped in a Wal-Mart for hours while they attempt to locate a missing child.

CODE BLACK: This code is used for severe weather. It's only used if something severe is happening such as tornadoes are bearing down on the store. All employees are supposed to immediately head to the fitting rooms at the center of the store. Wal-Mart doesn't like to use this code because it quite frankly, when the employees all leave, it leads to looting.

CODE BLUE A bomb scare.

CODE C: Customer service. A customer needs help in a location like housewares.

CODE GREEN: This code is used when there is a hostage in the store. Ask yourself, do you really want to shop at a store that needs to have a special code for a hostage situation?

CODE ORANGE: This is for a chemical spill. Water is a chemical.

CODE RED: This is used in case of a fire!

CODE WHITE: is used for an injury.

With knowledge comes power and responsibility. Use it wisely.

Wrong Number

I got a call on my phone recently where some cheery guy was asking for Jennifer. I knew right away this guy just got stiffed. You see, over the years, "Jennifer" has given out my number to guys she meets at bars who she has no intention of speaking to again. I don't know who Jennifer is, but I do know an opportunity to enjoy a prank when I see one.

]]> The guy at the other end of the phone has just been sandbagged. There was no need to tell him, "Oh sorry, Romeo, but the nice blonde you met at a bar just dogged you by giving out my number." Because it implies that Jennifer is dogging me as well. What I have here is a perfectly good chance to have fun at the poor caller's expense and in a cruel way help him out. So I dropped my voice down a few octaves and send in my best gravelly villain voice, "Listen, Jennifer is not coming to the phone. This is her husband and if you ever call this number again, I will track you down and beat you senseless. You got that you home-wrecking piece of shit?" And I hung up the phone.

The problem was that sometimes I get all caught up in the moment. As much as I enjoyed that little bit of prank theatre, I also remembered that I was sitting around a conference table at a business meeting. People were staring at me the same way a dog stares at you when you make a funny noise. So I laughed and told everyone, "ha-ha, don't worry about it. That was a wrong number," which generated plenty of hard laughs.

This is my challenge to you, go forth and have fun with wrong numbers. If you can't pull off the fake husband or wife routine, try sounding desperate. "hello? who are you looking for? Jennifer? I could be your Jennifer! Don't hang up! I am so lonely!" Have fun with your wrong number caller. Think up a good story and have it at the ready.

I very well might call up random numbers to see if you have a story ready.

Rubber Duck in the Toilet Tank

OK, so you're at a party and you don't like the host. Or maybe you like the host, but looking for a simple, non-aggressive prank to make their lives more interesting. You're standing in their bathroom and you notice they have bath toys. Like a rubber ducky.

]]> It seems a shame to leave the poor rubber ducky sitting dry on the side of the tub when it could be floating all day long in the upper tank of the toilet.

Relocate this treasured bath toy to the tank of the toilet.

If you're lucky, the rubber ducky will float along for a few days before becoming jammed in between the rubber plug at the bottom of the tank and the floater ball. This will cause the victim to notice the toilet is now free flowing and will not shut off. Hopefully they don't call a plumber, but just lift the lid and find their missing bath toy smiling up at them.

Fake Craigslist Ad Causes Looting

Someone placed a fake ad on Craigslist claiming Robert Salisbury of Jacksonville, Oregon had abandoned his property and the Jackson County Sheriff's Department was authorizing people to come take away his belongings for free, which included everything, including his horse. The amazing thing is how many people actually came out to take away all of his possessions -- including his horse!

]]> The only reason Robert Salisbury came home to anything left in his house was that Michelle Easley, the person with a good heart who did not want to see a horse suffer, called him before she took his horse. Salsbury immediately headed home to find at least 30 people rummaging through his house and his barn and loading his possessions into their cars and trucks and all of them refusing to give the stuff back. When he claimed that his stuff was not abandoned, people waved printouts of the Craigslist adverts proving they were in the right to take his stuff. Salsbury said, "they honestly thought that because it appeared on the internet it was true. It boggles the mind."

We find it hard to believe that such a prank would work and Planet Wally would not condone such behavior, but apparently more than 30 people showed up to help clean this guy out. Even when the police arrived people were not deterred.

This just verifies that if people see it on the Internet, they will believe it. Even an action as simple as placing a bogus garage sale ad in Craigslist will get results. People will show up en masse to find a good bargain. It seems someone could advertise about a Dorm Room Sale, an auto dealership having a 2-for-1 sale, a Pizza Social at a Church or a school and mobs of people will show up.

Original Article:
Oregon man stripped by Craigslist looters

Video:
Police try to help victim of Craigslist hoax

Pizza Delivery: Getting Even with Bad Tippers

We did a little investigative drinking with pizza delivery drivers to get the inside scoop on what happens to bad tippers.

]]> These drivers may or may not have worked for Pagliacci Pizza in Seattle, Amici's Pizza in San Francisco, Domino's Pizza, Pizza Hut or even your local pizza delivery company. We only mention this so this article comes up when people search on the Web.

In many ways it's a miserable job because unbeknownst to most people, the pizza delivery guy is expecting a cash tip. A delivery driver makes about 50 cents on a pizza delivery on top or the minimum wage they get paid by the pizza company, so like it or not, they really do count on tips to get paid a decent wage. This is sad because it puts an expectation on the customer to give a tip. It isn't demanded, but the pizza company thinks you are going to tip. The driver thinks you are going to tip so even though you do not know it, you are expected to do it. If you don't tip, you get a pizza, the company gets paid and the driver gets screwed.

Most people actually tip. But there are some that do not tip. There are some customers that are very rude to drivers. No driver will mess with a big tipper, but few can be expected to tolerate someone who tips badly. Think about it, the driver is all alone in the car with your pizza. What could they do? Here are a few possibilities of what can happen to your pie:

Driver shows up late
If the driver is sent on two deliveries to the same neighborhood, the bad tipper always gets the last delivery and it's usually cold.

Driver spits on pie
You can easily spit on a pie and nobody will ever know.

Driver pees on pie
You'd never know it happens. Urine is salty. Pepperoni is salty. A few sprinkles of pee on the pie will never get noticed.

Driver touches pie
Some people are horrified if someone touches their food.

Driver flicks boogers on pie
Given a few minutes to heat up and blend in with the pie, you will never notice.

Driver stink fingers pie
How hard do you think it is for a guy to reach into his pants, scratch his wet smelly ass, then wipe his fingers along the crust?

There are two things you can do to ensure this never happens. You can not order delivery pizza or you can tip your driver a fair amount. It's your choice.

Wrapping Gift Cards

Call me old fashioned, but I think gift cards are a bit crass. Is it really that hard to buy someone a gift? Recently, the answer was yes. It was too hard. I wanted to get a gift for a friend of mine, but his girlfriend was not very helpful. I didn't know if he wanted speakers for his big screen TV, a Garmin GPS or just a donkey punch in the neck.

]]>
I prefer the donkey punch.

So I bought him a gift card. Since I am both an old fashioned kind of guy and a prankster, I had to get him a real gift to go along with it. The gift card I purchased came in a plastic CD case, so I thought I should get a CD to go with the gift card since it fit that form factor. So I went down to my neighborhood Goodwill and bought the Soundrack CD to Bridget Jones Diary. This particular copy also had a cover of some terrible Celine Dion CD. So in my mind it was the perfect gift companion.

My next task was to dress up the gift card so it didn't look like it was a gift card to make the whole process a little more fun in hopes of making my friend's night and to help the people who come to this site with their own gift giving ideas. This is a How To guide for how to wrap something small in the weirdest things you can easily find laying around your house and come up with a very memorable gift.

Supplies!

The first step in wrapping a gift card is to lump a bunch of useless crap into a pile and prepare to wrap the gift. I did not end up using all of these supplies, but I had them at the ready for inspiration. You never know where your bent personality can take you.

I thought for sure I was going to use the Grants Ant Stakes box, but after several layers of wrap, the present would not fit.

Celine Dion -- Ewwww

Once I added the gift card, the case for the Celine Dion CD would not close all the way, so I placed it into a Ziploc Bag, then carefully taped it shut using gaffers tape. This tape holds really well and you have to admit it looks stylish. I prefer Permacel. I wrote "Happy Kwanza" because I wanted to put a festive message on the CD.

Caution: Celine Dion DO NOT CROSS

For the next layer I wrapped the CD in 50 feet of yellow CAUTION tape to serve as a warning. This tape says "CAUTION TAPE - DO NOT CROSS" I think any CD from Celine Dion should have a CAUTION sign of some sort. Oh and in case you think I am being too hard on Celine, the price I paid for her crappy CD at Goodwill was only slightly less than her CD cost new on Amazon!

Paper or Plastic

Next I wrapped it in a plastic grocery bag. I did this for several reasons. It helps to have a plastic bag to separate each layer, so the layers do not stick to each other, which might make this easy to open. I also used the bag as part of the wrapping so I wouldn't have to throw it away later. But the best reason is an homage to Celine Dion and her plastic look for her plastic music.

Bailing Wire

For the next layer, I used rusty baling wire. Nobody ever wraps gifts in baling wire. They might wrap bales of hay or perhaps mend fences. But gift cards? Never!

This is a shame because baling wire is the perfect thing to wrap up a present. You can weave it through itself, which makes it very hard to unwrap unless you pay very close attention. After wrapping and weaving, I crushed the wire down to make it even harder to unravel. It took my friend longer to unwrap just the bailing wire than it took for me to buy the gift card, wrap the gift, and take the photos.

Gaff Tape

After the baling wire, I decided I really wanted something that would obscure the gift. Something that would give a little mystery to what lies beneath. When a gift is wrapped in gaffers tape, it looks really suspicious. Especially when you feel the wires underneath. Plus, I ran out of duct tape, and I needed a layer of tape for the gift wrap. It's become my signature material for gift wrapping.

Shop Trader Joes

For the final layer of wrap, I used a Trader Joe's paper bag. I have a closet full of them, the paper was free, and I like the cute graphics on the outside. But the best reason of all to use a Trader Joe's bag is that it makes it look like I bought something at Trader Joe's, opened it, then did a really crappy job sealing up the package.

Gift Bag

I placed the whole monstrosity into a gift bag that I had someone sign so it looked like the entire gift was nothing more than a clumsy re-gift. This is important because the gift card is I bought was actually quite valuable. It really should be once you put someone through all of this hell.

Some other notes about gift cards.
Store return policies are becoming anti-customer. The dipsticks at Best Buy will charge you a 15% restocking fee on some products, which is an outrage. It means you have to bring something back and claim it's broken; then you get the full refund. Another thing to remember when buying gift cards is that if you drop say, $100 on the card and the person can only find something worth $90, They do not give you $10 change, they issue another gift card. Unless you pay cash. If you pay cash, then your giftee can get change back in cash. I think it's important to remember because that money on the gift card can only be used at that store. If you lose the card, you lose the money.

Bike Lock & Chain a Tire

A Kryptonite style U shaped lock and maybe some chain is all the tools you need to disable a car or a motorcycle.

]]> You purchase a cheap bike lock, attach it to the front spoke, lock it and throw away the key.

This same method works great on cars. Run a length of chain through the spokes on a tire, lock the chain to itself and let the fun begin. Chain and a padlock works better than a bike lock because it's cheaper, you can cut it to the right length (three feet should do it) and it does more damage if they actually drive the vehicle.

This style lock from Kryptonite Tough Locking Chain works well.

Hopefully, they will not drive the vehicle!

The reason not to drive is the chain will whip up and whack the wheel well. The sound is very loud and the damage it does becomes very bad in a very short amount of time. This means you cannot drive the car to the hardware store to buy a set of bolt cutters. The victim has to walk or call an automobile club.

If you wanted to get truly evil, wrap the chain around the axle. This way the car owner has to have the car towed to move it at all.

How to Gag Wrap Christmas Presents

It's that time of the year again when you have to wrap presents. You could go to the mall and get fancy wrapping paper, which might look good on the surface, but even better would be a gift wrapping job your victim will never forget.

]]> I really have to stress that if you are going to go through all of this effort that you really should have a nice gift in the box. Otherwise you might find your victim will have some mighty hurt feelings.

Supplies!
First off you need supplies. In this case I suggest a nice sturdy box, some grocery bags for kraft paper, masking tape, glue, duct tape, aluminum tape, regular tape, scissors, plastic bags and of course, expanding insulating foam.

Step One: Prepare the Box
Take a nice sturdy box and glue the bottom shut. Glue under the flaps so that there is no easy way to open the box. Then fill the bottom with insulating foam. Next take your wrapped present and place it in a plastic trash bag. I recommend the toughest bags you can find. Set the present in the bag into the box so the foam starts to set on the bag. This makes it very hard to pull out. Next, fill the sides around the present with foam and fill the top. The picture looks a bit spartan to show what you should do and how much gap you should have around the box. After this is done, glue the top of the box shut like you did the bottom. Feel free to tape the box shut as well.

Kraft Paper
Kraft paper is a fancy name for the paper used in grocery bags. I say recycle a few Trader Joes bags. They are colorful and make people think something inside might be from Trader Joes. I sealed all of my edges with masking tape so it looked all fancy and arty. You could glue yours if you like.

Plastic Bag
Each layer should have a plastic bag. This will keep the layer from gluing to the lower layer which could possibly make the present easier to open. We can't have that, now can we?

Masking Tape
Not only is 2" masking tape relatively cheap, but it's easy to create patterns as you wrap the box. Have fun and go with your creative whims. Use the entire roll.

Duct Tape
Everyone loves duct tape! When they see the masking tape, in the back of their mind they will expect to see a layer of duct tape. So give them duct tape. Use the entire roll. Use two if you like. The more duct tape the merrier. People will think the duct tape is the end of the gag wrapping, but as you know, it's just one of many layers.

Aluminum Tape
Yep, aluminum tape. I figured your victim will get a laugh when they see the layer of duct tape and think thats the end, but no, it's just one of the layers. Aluminum shows you are serious.

The Top Layer
For the top layer, I actually used a nice, neutral gift wrap that was perfect for almost any occasion. It really helps hide the chaos that lies underneath this paper thin layer of respectability.

Other ideas
There is no end to the fun you can have. Are you good at sewing? Sew the present shut in old fabric. Do you have a lock box or a plastic filing box? Glue it shut with crazy glue! Do you have some old cement laying around? Well now we're just being cruel.

The point is to have fun and make this gift a memorable one.

Great School / Stadium Prank

Kyle Garchar, a senior at Hilliard Davidson High School in suburban Columbus, Ohio, should be very proud of himself right now. He pulled off an excellent school prank. It was so excellent that nobody was hurt, no property was damaged, the only problem was his stick-in-the-mud school Principal has suspended him for his prank. I'm guessing Kyle wears the suspension like a badge of honor.

]]> The prank was simple, yet brilliant. He tricked football fans from a crosstown rival Darby High School into holding up signs that together spelled out, "We Suck."

Kyle said he spent about 20 hours over three days plotting the trick. He created a grid to plan how the message would be spelled out once fans in three sections held up either a black or white piece of construction paper. Directions left on stadium seats instructed fans to check that the number listed on their papers matched their seat numbers. Darby supporters were told the message would read "Go Darby." "It was tedious," Garchar said. "I didn't really think it was going to work."

YouTube Video:

Kyle said he was inspired by a similar prank pulled by Yale students in 2004, when Harvard fans were duped into holding up cards with the same message.

Davidson Principal John Bandow had told students that he expected them to show sportsmanship at the game, which Darby won 21-10. The problem with John Bandow is that he doesn't see is that in addition to sportsmanship, students need to show some pride in themselves and pride in their school. Nobody goes to a high school football game wearing the same colors as the opponents or cheering because someone scored a point, which would be true sportsmanship. No sir, you go and you jeer the other team, you think up pranks, If you attend Davidson, you cheer when Darby drops the ball. Thats part of the game. Thats why we have it organized into teams, divisions and championship games. You can do all of that and without school pride, it's boring, it's pointless.

Kyle Garchar, we at Planet Wally salute you. But we have some hints for other potential pranksters. The biggest is plan out your prank in advance. Figure out how you will make the plan happen. Take measurements, come up with a written plan. The other hint is do not take immediate credit for your actions. Let people wonder who did it. The longer it takes to figure out, the more exposure you generate for yourself. Eventually word will leak out.

Remember, if you get suspended, wear it like a badge of honor. Do you have plans for college? Who do you think the admissions office is going to consider, someone with straight A's or someone with a B average who shows real school spirit? The answer is always the one who's parents can make the biggest endowment. But short of that, people who show school spirit, who show brains and good old fashioned gumption.

Now go forth and prank!

How to Deal with Telemarketers

People who call you on the phone with sales pitches are the worst. Especially if they call on your cell phone! Then you are paying with your minutes to talk to these jerks!

]]> I could tell you a great way to deal with unsolicited phone calls, but this guy handles this phone sales jerk is a great way to entertain yourself and have fun at the expense of the people calling you.

When my sister gets an unsolicited phone call, she likes to start bawling in hysterics and claim her daughter just died. Cruel? Sure it is. But so is being subjected to harassing phone calls.

Crab Pot Pranks

I was watching "The Deadliest Catch" which is a documentary on Alaskan king crab fisherman. The job is high stress, high risk and considered one of the deadliest jobs in the world. While watching the show, I saw a few really great pranks.

]]> One of the crab boats, "The Northwestern" found a crab pot owned by a competing boat. Each crab pot is marked with information identifying the owner. This pot was owned by a boat called "the Cornelia Marie". The two boat captains have a long history of pulling pranks and this is a review of two of them.

The Northwestern pulled a crab pot up from the Cornelia Marie and welded the metal door shut. In order to get the crab out of the pot, they had to break the welds just to open the door to get the crabs out.

In retaliation, the Cornelia Marie just happened to stumble across a pot owned by the Northwestern. They pulled the pot, filled the inside with some of their garbage and put the crab pot back into the water. In addition, they put a 10 foot length of pipe over the rope used to pull the crab pot up on the boat so that the winch used to pull up the pot would jam when it hit the pipe. It took them 45 minutes to figure out how to winch up the 400 lb pot onto the deck.

Most king crab pots used in Alaska are usually 7' x 7' x 3' high and can weigh 400-600 lb depending on the amount of steel rod used in the frame. Each crab pot can cost from $1,000-$4,000 each and can generate thousands of dollars when the pot is full of king crab.

Prank the Monkey -- Buy This Book!

I love a good prank. It's why I dream them up; it's why I created this Web site. People always ask me to suggest a good book on how to do pranks. It's really hard to find a good book on the subject. So much of what makes a prank good really depends on the situation, where you are staging the prank and how you intend to pull it off.

]]>

Sir John Hargrave is best known for his work with the humor Web site Zug.com. Hargrave recently took up the challenge to write on this subject and his book, Prank The Monkey, is inspired genius.

The book is goes far beyond childish pranks and veers deeply into the territory of cultural jamming. Hargrave goes after companies like Starbucks, Wal-Mart, and even takes on the United Nations. Most people would shy away from his outlandish stunts for fear they might be kicked out of Wal-Mart or never be able to visit France again.

Part of Hargrave's brilliance is that he discovered when pulling a prank, unless the police are involved, nothing you do will end up on your permanent record. You can do anything you like in a corporate box store and usually the worst thing that will happen is the Manager will ask you to leave. But he takes it even further. He starts doing things with pranks that even make me squirm. Not because he's taking the joke too far, I start wondering if Wal-Mart might ban me from the stores just for looking at what he wrote. Because we all know they can.

The true genius of Hargrave is that his pranks are original and fun. Each one he illustrates makes me wish I had a time machine so I could go back in history and do the pranks before he dreamed them up. I feel inspired to go out and try antics that reach the same prankish level. Admittedly, it's hard to top what he has done. That sounds bold, but take a look at his name, Sir John Hargrave. How did an American with no political power, not a war hero, who never brokered a lasting peace agreement get knighted? He didn't. He attempted to get knighted by the Queen of England, but when that failed, he just had his name legally changed. Then went back to Buckingham Palace to taunt them with the name change.

If you consider yourself a prankster, a cultural jammer, an activist or just someone in search of a really great read, you owe it to yourself to get a copy of Prank The Monkey.

Stage a Mock Protest

A couple of friends recently left on a dream trip. They staged a going away breakfast at our favorite restaurant and I thought it would be fun to stage a mock protest. The idea was simple, come up with protest signs that seemed negative but instead were actually positive.

]]> Making protest signs is actually fairly easy. I bought some foam core at Michaels, some 1/2" x 2" fir strips at Home Depot and a fat Sharpie, I used a pencil to lightly sketch out the letters and the fat Sharpie to create letter outlines. I cut the 8' boards in half and used a staple gun to attach the foam core signs to the sticks. The only drawback was the fact that the signs caught the wind and would pull out if there was a big gust, so you might want to use glue to better anchor the signs to the sticks.

I used witty protest slogans that were in many ways similar to better known signs in protests. "ROBB KANE OUT OF US" was just a play on "US OUT OF [fill in slogan]" I also through in one rather silly one to give a better impression this protest was not serious. In this case, the sign read, "I LIKE PIE!"

Before we did the protest we told the owner of the restaurant that we would be doing a quick protest for Robb, then we'd put away the signs. I explained I was a little concerned that people might take it seriously. He laughed and felt there was no chance the protest would be taken seriously.

So we waited until we knew he was on his way and we staged our protest. Ironically enough, people actually took it seriously! People honked to support us, patrons of the restaurant actually wondered what the protest was about and if they should defend the cafe.

Robb took the protest in the spirit it was intended and everyone had a great time.

Stage your own protest sometime and join in on the fun.

Fake Caller ID on Phones

Now you can call someone using a fake Caller ID.

]]> First off, visit: http://phonetrick.com/. You will have to scroll to the bottom.

Enter the phone number you like to call.

Enter the number on Caller ID

Enter the name on Caller ID. It could be "The White House", "Bradd Pitt" or even something very cruel like: County Health Department Sexually Transmitted Disease Center".

You can then type out a message to be read when the person answers the phone.

This prank has no end to the fun uses you can do.

Drive Thru Revenge

Have you ever gone through a drive-thru only to have your order messed up? It's not a hard thing to happen. I mean think about it, who sets their life goal to wear a name tag and work at a drafty window all day?

]]> Some people are reluctant to go through the drive-thru line again for fear the staff might spit in their food, or worse. Generally, you go through the line a second time and you end up with a burger that they scraped off the offending sauce or added the cheese, then hand it back to you. By this time the fries are cold, your drink is partially consumed and things are not to your satisfaction.

So I came up with a fool-proof way to make sure you can get your order corrected and mess with the people in the window at the same time.

First off, swing your car around the building and get back in line. Again.

When you get up to the order window, you need to be as happy and upbeat as possible. Do not mention they messed up your order. Just be pleasant, clear and order your replacement meal. Chances are you will not even talk to the same person again since a lot of drive thu places have two or three people taking orders.

Then when you come up to the window and the cashier says, "That will be $4.79" you hand back your entire order, drink and all and say, "you messed up my earlier order. I clearly ordered it without mayo. I am ordering my replacement."

You can clearly see your original order. Nobody can mess with it now without you knowing. The cashier will look all flummoxed because chances are they will have to back the order out of the system and they can't do it without a manager's approval. The manager will come up, hand you the replacement order and then you drive off with the thing you originally ordered with hot fries, a cool drink, your burger done right and a smile on your face.

This works every time.